Snow and Surf

A snowstorm hit the town last night and it has not stopped snowing since.  I love snowstorms.  I love the heaviness of them and the way they close in on you.  I love the way they enhance the coziness of houses and the indulgent feel of certain foods.  The light reflects off of the flakes, making everything glow.  I had to go out into it to make it to an appointment today and I had a very girly moment.  Having just painted my toenails, I couldn’t put on boots without destroying the paint job.  So, I put on my five inch, open toed, clear acrylic high heels and stepped off of the sidewalk right into a foot of snow and slush.  Graciela and I were laughing hysterically.  Having been raised in the high alpine mountains all my life; I’m a bit desensitized to cold and to snow.  Winter lasts too long to be practical all season long.  Sometimes, you just want to wear a mini dress with a great pair of high heels, regardless of what the weather is doing or not doing.

snowfall_1

I spent the better part of the day cleaning the house.  For some reason, cleaning and organizing your home environment has a ripple effect.  It seems to purify your internal life as well.  While I was cleaning today, I started thinking about the ebb and sway of life.  Having just come out of a major downswing in my own life,  I started thinking about the ups and downs of life in general.

For thousands of years, the ups and downs of our daily lives have been referred to as the samsara wave.  For this reason, I have often said that it is beneficial to think of people who are dedicated to spiritual practice as surfers.  Our practice is the practice of riding those waves so that we may one day master our relationship to them.  Just like a surfer, in the beginning we fall into the surf and get tossed and turned in it over and over and over again.  But the more we practice, the better we get at finding our own alignment in the midst of those waves.   Eventually with enough practice, it becomes rare that we fall from our surfboard.  We can manage bigger and bigger waves while still staying on the surfboard.  Enlightened beings are like master surfers.   But it is important to notice that in no version of this story do the waves stop coming.  The enlightened being did not become a master of riding the waves and then turn around and push a magic button to stop the waves from coming.  This is because the big waves no longer cause him or her to suffer.  The enlightened being sees those waves as responsible for the very enlightenment they now maintain.   And so, these waves are welcomed.

Surfer-Under-Wave

The spiritually enlightened person still experiences the full range of emotion, just like any other person.  All that has changed is that they have gained the awareness of how to utilize their own thoughts to maintain alignment with their higher self.    They have gained the conscious ability to move up the scale from one emotion to the next at will.  In other words, the true story (which is one we don’t like telling) is that Buddha still had bad days.  Mara did not vanish for eternity when Buddha faced him beneath the Bodhi tree; he kept coming back throughout Buddha’s life.  What changed after enlightenment is that Buddha recognized Mara.   Mara was just the embodiment of the negative aspects of Buddha’s own ego.  And when the Buddha recognized that, even though the Buddha initially felt the sensation of things like fear and temptation and doubt, he was able to not get caught by those projections.  In fact, according to many ancient texts, Buddha befriended Mara, even to the point of inviting him in for tea.  The Buddha recognized Mara as his most precious teacher, the teacher that had continually taught him the very most.  After all, without Mara, his enlightenment would not even have taken place.

buddha_and_mara_bj49

Most of us have a clear idea of the goal that we are headed towards.  We want to be enlightened.  We want to be absent of ego.  Most of all, we want to be free of suffering.   We have a picture in our heads of what we think that enlightenment looks like, our perfect image of the spiritually enlightened person.  But what most people don’t know is that this image we are holding on to, is a lie that we keep telling ourselves.  Enlightenment is not like that.  Enlightenment is no kind of retirement from life itself.   It is no kind of retirement from the ups and downs.  We create the illusion of enlightened retirement from the ups and downs when we feel resistant to the ups and downs.  We invent the idea that enlightenment means perfect bliss twenty-four hours a day only when we are suffering and we want an end to that suffering.  Enlightenment is only the beginning, because after enlightenment you still have to engage with physical life and physical life was designed to be a means for creating expansion.

Physical life is a learning hologram.  No one who is alive is exempt from expansion and so, no one is exempt from contrast.  And as long as there is contrast, there is the recognition of what is unwanted as well as the recognition of what is wanted present within you.   If we were to reach a state where we were magically transformed into a permanent state of bliss, it would mean ended-ness.  There could be no further expansion from that place and that would not serve the universe at large.  What serves the universe at large is eternal expansion.  So even once you have attained enlightenment, you still have to integrate what it has taught you.  You still have to integrate the spiritual awareness you have achieved into your day-to-day life.   Even though the samsara waves never stop coming, the more enlightened you become, the more your thoughts change.  Your perspective changes to match the vibration of source perspective.  And so the meaning of your experiences changes.  The way you think about and deal with the ups and downs is what changes and so those ups and downs are not experienced the same way that they once were.

All religious traditions and belief systems have their own inherent pitfalls.

sinkhole

And one of the biggest pitfalls in the spiritual community is the pitfall that we call “bypassing”.   What I mean by bypassing is that we often bypass ourselves.  We bypass our true feelings.  We ignore or deny our true thoughts and feelings based on the spiritual beliefs and truths that we are trying to live up to.  Most of us, who are aware that we are creating our own reality by virtue of what we are paying attention to, fear that if we focus on the way we feel, it will get worse.  We have been taught to ignore what doesn’t feel good to think about or to look at.  But what we miss is that we are already focusing on what doesn’t feel good to think about.  And when we try to ignore it or deny it and rush in the other direction, we are actually resisting the way we feel; and anything we resist persists.  So we are holding ourselves in those bad feeling places by trying to avoid and ignore them.  The best way to deal with these kinds of negative states is to flip around to face them and embrace them completely.  They exist for a reason.  Negative emotion is always the red flag alerting you to the fact that there is something there to learn.  It is always alerting you that you have come to the crossroads of personal expansion.  But if you avoid the negative feeling, you also avoid the lesson and the expansion.

Tire-Maintenance-Tips

If you were driving along a road and your tire went flat, you would not keep driving and ignore the flat tire.  You would stop, acknowledge the flat tire and then improve the state of the tire.  But continuing to drive on a flat tire is symbolically what we are expecting ourselves to do when we try to avoid the way we really feel and what we are really thinking in favor of how we think we should feel and the way we think we should be thinking.  In the spiritual community, it has become a kind of unwritten cultural expectation that we need to act like what we think a spiritually enlightened person would act like; even if it is not true to how we really feelIn other words, it has become a cultural expectation that we should ignore where we are in pursuit of where we think we should be.  The result is that most of us feel as if the only acceptable emotion to feel is happy.  And if we feel less than happy, we feel as if we have somehow failed.   As if the pain of the struggle we are facing in and of itself is not enough, we frost the cake of that struggle with shame and embarrassment that we are suffering in the first place.  We go out of our way to keep up appearances and not tell anyone if we are having a bad day.   Because of this shame relative to struggling, we do not want to own up to the depth of our suffering in the current moment.  So, the words that come out of our mouth are not true to us, they are rehearsed principals we are beating ourselves up with.  For example, the truth of where you are right now may be that what you’re experiencing hurts.  Sometimes it hurts so bad, you can’t believe you’re still breathing.  You’re in pain emotionally or physically and you don’t know what to do about it.  If this is the case, it is self-abusive to gloss over the reality of that experience you’re having by saying something like “Oh, so many other things are going well and I know something great is going to come out of all of this”.  Because at this moment, right here and now, you don’t know that!  What you’re doing is regurgitating that spiritual principal because that is the way you’ve been taught that spiritually ascended people see struggles.

Our emotional selves are children.  This never changes regardless of whether or not you have reached enlightenment.  Our emotional selves never grow up.  We just learn how to parent our emotional selves better.  If you deny the way you actually feel, you are invalidating the small crying child within you, which is desperately trying to express the way he or she feels.  If you deny the way you actually feel, you cannot ever get to a better feeling space.  You have to know where you are as well as where you want to go if you want to know which direction to start walking.  Could you imagine trying to use a map to find out what direction to walk if you were unwilling to admit to where you were?  Could you imagine a doctor trying to help you to feel better but being unwilling to assess your current state to discover what is causing you to feel bad?

One of the best things you can do for yourself is to own up to how you feel and to say, “I am where I am”.   Saying this does not mean that you have failed.  It does not mean that you’ve given up and that you’ve surrendered to feeling crappy.  It means that you are brave enough to embrace where you are so that you are no longer resisting where you are.  And because of this, ironically you will no longer be stuck where you are.  There is no shame in struggling.  Having problems is not a character flaw.  You have not failed if you have a bad day.  Buddha had bad days.  Jesus had bad days.  Muhammad had bad days.  You will not meet a single physically manifested being (whether they are an ascended master or not) that is exempt from contrast and so you will not meet a single physically manifested being who is in alignment twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week.  To expect this from anyone is cruelty.   To feel embarrassment or shame if you are out of alignment is cruelty.  To expect yourself to be in alignment twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week is cruelty.   And it’s time that we stop perpetuating cruelty in ourselves as well as within this spiritual community that we ourselves are responsible for creating.  Spiritual practice is just that… It is a practice.  It is still a practice for those who are spiritual masters.  Alignment is something that we have to maintain.  It is not a prize that we reach and then we are granted alignment forever no matter what we think or do.  Alignment and enlightenment is not something that is done to us once we prove ourselves worthy.  It is something we constantly maintain.  We choose to come into alignment or not in each moment.  And denial is no kind of alignment.

So the question for today is: Are you bypassing yourself?

woman-looking-in-mirror

60 Comments

  • Teal,

    Love this article. You are so right! The best way to deal with ‘bad days/phase’ is to accept the fact and go through the feelings to soak yourself. The downside is making yourself vulnerable and becoming a ‘specimen’ who can be judged by others. We need to have courage to swim in those emotions of fear, pain and loss without thinking too much about the outcome.

    Love you and love myself coming in contact with you!!! Look forward to reading your blog on daily basis.

    Sangeeta

    Reply
  • I love this. Thank you. This is very good information that a lot of people forget or dont even realize. You are a great teacher and I love you.

    Reply
  • Love it. Love it. Love it. :) Thank you Teal.

    Reply
  • That was so on target… Thank you Teal. You always speak what needs to be said. Its so refreshing and amazing!!!

    Reply
  • wow,..we are stunningly and completely in sympatico of late,..I have been surfing some tough waves the last little while, and when i see someone too happy with never a ‘bad’ day …it just doesnt ring true, no matter how evolved you are,..this is lovely writing:) xo

    Reply
  • Great post, Teal! Exactly what I needed to hear. 😊

    Reply
  • Aaaaaaaah Thanks you so much Teal!!! :D I love this… <3 <3 <3 <3

    Reply
  • Hello wonderous Teal, ” Am I bypassing myself?” If I could I would, depending on what self constitutes. If you find yourself in times of trouble, it is not necessarily because you are focussed on the ‘troubles’ willfully or that they have anything to do with you. I have noticed that on my way to mastery the only thing that changes is the timing. I get through troubles so quickly sometimes that it takes someone else to point out that it was a trouble. “You handled that situation well.” sometimes hits me by surprise because I wasn’t even aware there was a problem. An example was: A big picture of myself on the front of a newspaper looking serene while surrounded by police and security guys fighting with and arresting protesters. At the time I was expecting to be arrested. I asked an erudite friend why I was not arrested. His reply was ” Perhaps the police needed you as liason, without you there would be no one to negotiate with.” My peacefulness came from my naivety about how the police opperate. The other thing is I was holding a clip board with questions for the TV journalists. My friend postulated that that would have created the impression that I could handle myself in court. I use to think that holding a video camera and standing between other journalists and cameramen would protect me. Not so. If you want to avoid protacted court cases, never document police brutality. Where was I?

    Song for the day: ” Don’t be cruel” Elvis. I like his generation of simplicity.

    Reply
  • arturo villarreal

    Thank you Teal,

    I needed to hear(or read) that, because everytime I felt out of alignment I was feeling frustrated and angry with myself, kind of like if I was failing to myself for going out of my vortex, now I know that it’s impossible to be in alignment 24/7.
    Thanks again.

    Reply
    • Hi Arturo, I know what you and Teal are saying but as usual I am picking such statements for their inherently devisive assumption. There isn’t two selves. There is the oneness of observer and the observed. Divided self is reflected and know by what it observes.
      ‘Awarenessing’ is all we are. What a relief! At the end of Teal’s blog I dropped my shoulders, relaxed my eyes and breathed consciously. There are no troubles unless we attempt to move thoughts through time. I am not recommending this state. Being human requires contracted and separative consciousnessness. I maybe wrong, but this is my experience.

      Reply
  • Finding your balance emotionally moment to moment seems so much harder than staying in balance when involved in a physical activity. But a 5′ 8″ woman in 5 inch heels walking through a snow storm is a feat that only a zen master can accomplish. Congrats!
    Best Wishes, Dave.

    Reply
  • Not bypassing oneself I take to mean being real or being in touch with your real feelings, a good thing.

    Learning to laugh at yourself
    I wanted to emphasize the importance of developing a sense of humor about the ego. In the first part of Teal’s post she talked about stepping into the snow in her open toed shoes. This is an good example of how are ego can lead us astray, and how often the best thing to do is to have a good laugh about it, even if sometimes its through your tears.

    Ego never seems to quit, that might be one of its most endearing qualities. Like a bubbling sidekick it shows up when you least expect it. A little like John Candy in the movie Planes, Trains and Automobiles. So sometime all you can do is give your ego a hug, have a good laugh, and move on.

    will

    PS A surfer in my religious studies class insisted that surfing was a religion.

    Reply
    • Hi Will, Excuse me but, surfing is far more important than religion. Surfing is a real skill. It is my experience that all people who profess a religion need to have sinners to condemn and feel better than. Their Gods are so weak that they need to be defended from blasphemy. Whoops there I go again. I haven’t forgiven the Catholic Church for causing the spread of Aids in Africa and elsewhere. ( by banning condoms) I suffered four years of Religeous Instruction at my school until I couldn’t stand being a whipping post anymore. A good Christian friend told me after I left the class that it was boring without me there to attack.

      Reply
  • Teal, I resonated with this blog entry, and I appreciate your posting on this topic. I’ve been very excited to hear your recent talks on spiritual community contradictions as well as avoidance of ‘negative’ feelings and experiences. It’s easy to fall into ‘self destruction’ mode when we realize we cannot always live up to our expectations for ourselves and the expectations others have for us. You’ve always been very inspiring, and I’ve been a fan for a few years now; I feel like you are breaking ground continually, and it feels like we are all growing together. I missed you in Siesta Key a month or so ago as I heard about the event too late and missed the opportunity to get tickets. I’m in Sarasota… Perhaps our paths will cross at another time in the future :)

    Reply
  • Thank you, Teal. This is really helpful.
    I need to stop beating myself up for being human.

    Reply
  • Lady, you are well on your way to healing :) You are definitely on the upswing! So glad you’re bouncing back!
    And yeah, there will always be “haters”… they should make a meme with you putting on sunglasses saying “deal with it” to all the haters.

    You’re doing the right thing. None of your “mistakes” were wrong or really “mistakes”. They had to happen for you to learn and know what you know today. That applies to all of us.

    Keep being you and spreading the message of light and love <3

    Reply
    • This is the meme I was taking about:
      http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/deal-with-it
      To all your haters and people who criticize you: “DEAL WITH IT!”
      <3

      Reply
      • Hi Karen, “Deal with it” sounds very provocative. To me, it appears a hateful thing to say. ‘The haters’ would have reason to become more resistant and rewarded for their hating. Maybe that is what you want. More devision and contrast. There is nothing inherintantly wrong with hating if one can enjoy what comes back. Maybe you are just having fun.

        Reply
  • !!!!! Wow, I must say, Teal, that has to be the best blog I’ve ever read. Thank you truly! You managed to distill all the great questions and concerns of the human condition down to what matters most. I can’t overstate that.

    Most of all, the bit on Mara rang so deeply true for me.

    Devil, I welcome thee! You are a worthy adversary, nay you are true friend who calls it as it is! And what it is, is where I am!

    Much love,
    Simon

    Reply
  • No, I am not! :D I am allowing myself to be exactly where I am. With anger, love, indifference, and everything that is a part of me. It is all me! Release resistance, flow towards love. Thanks Teal :)

    Reply
  • One of my favorite quotes goes: “A skillful pilot earns his reputation through storms and tempest.” Sometimes it pays to get the hell out of the way when you see a storm coming but other times you’ve got no choice but to fly right into it. That’s how you become an ace pilot.

    But it would never be my choice to step out into the slush and snow in a mini skirt and a pair of open-toed high heels! Fucking hell, who are you? The Ice Queen?? That reminds me of a something I read once where the author (I think it was Robert Louis Stevenson) was relating a tale of one insanely cold day in the middle of a Scottish winter when he saw a poor family coming down the street, and the 2 young girls were barefooted on the icy ground but skipped along singing like it was the middle of July or something. Personally, I want at least 2 layers of clothing, ear muffs, a scarf for my mouth and nose, and a fuzzy warm pair of mukluks! And gloves and hand warmers too.

    Reply
  • I love each moment this morning reading your blog I learning so much from you that even laugh of your toes on the snow yummy I need to read it over an over again <3 have a lovely time <3

    kind regards
    Monica

    Reply
  • “I am where I am”.

    You say that we not need to stock with our selves >>> but let me put that way as you know by putting your toes on the snow we all have feelings ans I am in one situation that does need a special interference …

    I near to have my gender surgery male to female and now my surrounded area of the genitals are very red like pealing the skin and hurt like fire I went to Dr a few times they not diagnose the case <3 what shall I do leave that body and trust that I will get a better shell next life ?

    Please help me with that situation

    kind regards

    Monica Nobrega

    Reply
    • Hi Monica, Thankyou for describing your condition. Yuk. I was headed to being a doctor until I realized I only wanted the status and money. If you are considering suicide, then conclude your business and have everything neat. If you find yourself stuck in an afterlife close to your deceased body and people commenting on it you may have more trauma. If you want a clean exit that leaves the least bad feeling, get a small camper style gas cylinder filled with nitrogen at your local welders shop. A plastic bag with a large rubber band, and a tube from the cylinder is needed. Put the bag over your head, with the tube inserted and ready. Scrunch out all the air from the bag and turn on the gas. Breathe deep and you will be gone in seconds. Painless. No one will have time to rescue you. Make a video explaining why you are doing it. It would be rotten to leave your friends and family under suspicion. If you park your car outside a mortuary before opening time you can slip a note under their door explaining things. Make a sworn affidavit that you want your body given to medical research. No one should have to attend your funeral.
      ALTERNATIVELY, you could reframe your concern for your condition and find all the good things you have to live for.

      Reply
  • I really try but I can’t bypassing my self in flesh not definitely not also go to ring the DR once again and share what I just learn from you !

    Take your time and keep teaching

    love you

    Monica

    Reply
  • Hi dear teal, I liked what you wrote. The advice that you once gave us, normal people… (my favorite one): ask yourself – what would a person who loves themself do? can be well said to you spiritual masters…. instead of “what we think a spiritually enlightened person would act like”. and one last thing – Moses must have had bad days too…

    with <3

    Reply
    • Hi NOA, The Moses of the Old Testament had a shocking life full of doubt and trouble. There is absolutely no archeological evidence of the exodus having ever happened.

      Reply
      • Hi Michael, I am not an archeological expert (are you) I just wanted my religion to get it’s right share of attention… It can be Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson for all I care…

        Reply
        • Hi Noa, What share of attention should a religion of ‘fairy tales’ and misinformation like the Judae Christian one is, be given? Should our children be taught that Genesis and its poetic but idiotic creationist theory is the truth? The more research is done into Biblical history the more tattered the Bible becomes and the less likely there ever was ever a Jesus. The Catholic Church edited out most of the empowering scriptures. What is left is Thou Shalts. These rules are common sense for the survival of communities and don’t require being ordained to be a truth from the creator of the cosmos. Religion poisons everything. It creates pedafiles, perverts, popes, pawn and pilfering of the public purse. It is exploitation of weak minds. Just to name a few things. Yes, I have an issue with religion because it will end our world if it gets its prophesies fulfilled like the fictional character Jesus, is suppose to have. One day all Christians will hang their heads in shame for allowing such idiocy to exist in their minds.
          The devine light entity that people meet when they die is themSELVES. It knows everything and is the source of consciousness. It isn’t some entity demanding servitude and threatening damnation on its creation. It isn’t something that requires us to believe it. How do I know this? I am in ‘it’ Nature is bountiful, evolution is demonstrated, people heal themselves and live without religion. That is my bit for today. Thankyou Noa.

          Reply
          • Michael,
            more than a bit… sorry you are a little sophisticated… but I think I understood the most of your message if not all. I am not at all a religious person. My beliefs are quite new to me, and are quite new agy. I live in a partly very religious country with delicate problems to solve. But I feel close to the people that live here, not only Jewish-non religious like me, but also arabs, religious jews and others, we have all sorts… I feel it mostly when I come back from other countries. Not that I don’t like meeting people from abroad, I just feel less understood sometimes. Actually I thought at first, that I should mention maybe also spiritual master from other places and religions , but I thought that would be too righteous, and I don’t like being like that.

          • Hi Noa, You are a dear soul. Thanks for understanding.

          • Thank you Michael :)

  • Hi Teal,
    I love the analogy to surfing, i think its explains it perfectly.
    Thank you
    Tina

    Reply
  • A really nice synthesis and focus. Enjoyed the blog and the comments. Many thanks, Miki

    Reply
  • Negative emotion hurts. Its painful. I have been in and out of the Dark Night of my soul for almost a month now. It sucks. I face and embrace, and it keeps coming. I feel useless, in the way and can’t even seem to give my dogs the time and attention they need. I don’t want to bypass, but honestly this is going on just way too long. All this talk of learning, expanding, integrating, riding the waves. Well I’m feeling unable to stand back up again after being knocked over by wave after wave after fucking wave. What do we do when it feels like enough is enough? Honestly, if it weren’t for my dogs and my responsibility to be their person and love them like I promised to do, I would just jump the fuck off this ride.

    Reply
    • Hi Rhonda, I love your rant. I guess you felt better after it. You are well on the road to freedom. If you feel suicidal in the future try this question. ” What exciting or daring and dangerous thing can I indulge in before I die?” Remember that it doesn’t matter one scrap what the physical consequences are because you won’t be alive to be punished. It may be very simple like walking up to a complete stranger and telling your feelings to them. I would pick the most attractive and wonderful person to share with and see how things change. You can be sure they will have some story also.

      Reply
      • Hi Michael – I’m glad you enjoyed it, but no, not feeling all that much better just yet. I do appreciate your suggestion though. One thing I keep reminding myself is that now that I am single again I get to write my story however I want it to be – especially to people who don’t know me. I’ve been trying to figure out how to be brave and get my courage on, and you just reminded me that all I have to do is do it. Thank you very much!!!!

        Reply
        • Hi Rhonda, I nearly missed your reply. Yes be courageous, there is really nothing to lose except perhaps your sense of self worth and that is not important when you wake up. I have travelled a lot and now it is second nature to make contact with people I find interesting. Speak your heart to an utter stranger and let them know your feelings. Be fully with them for that short moment. A good opener is “Look I probably won’t meet you again but I want to say this………..”. then let loose. The problem with our society is we tend to hive with the same people and miss the opportunity to explore who we are without the need to be consistant.

          Reply
    • Hey Rhonda. My ‘dark night of the soul’ came in like a tsunami and left me ‘bereft’ of any real desire to continue to live. It lasted a lot longer than a month, and I’m not even totally out of the dark yet. (Not that yours has to last that long!!!) It was my kids and my pets that were all that kept me here for awhile. I finally decided that, to quote the title of a song written by a friend of mine… “I ain’t goin’ down like this”. I realized that I really wanted to align myself to Love while I am in this body and not just return to it by default. Either way works, but I felt passionate about my decision. I decided that I could no longer afford to wait for magic to happen to me, I had to create it for myself. Thanks to that I am feeling much better these days… MUCH better, and when I get through this thing I will definitely be a skilled necromancer because I will have surely revived the dead! Hahahahaha.

      I think the best thing anybody who was depressed could do is spend some time everyday outside in nature, no matter what the weather is doing. Walk around and look at stuff, like trees and airplanes in the sky, whatever, and notice the breath entering your body, it is your most intimate contact with ‘Source Energy’. I’m not trying to tell you what to do, I’m just saying, meditation and spending time outdoors has helped me feel better so much that these words I’m writing here seem like a ludicrous understatement.

      Namaste

      Reply
      • Hi Avalon – thanks for sharing your story a bit with me. I have no idea how long this dark period will last, but I am so ready to find my way out of it. I was finding happiness in just being for a couple of days and then another wave hit me today. I guess I just had to vent. Normally I love the posts I read on many different sites, but today all the love yourself, find joy in the now, count your blessings stuff was overwhelming and trite. I actually went out in the woods for a nice long walk with my dogs today. When I reached the halfway point I stood barefoot, grounded and danced with the energy. If felt good, but I managed to attract a migraine that kicked in as soon as I got back to my car. And the sadness was still there. Oh well, I suppose that this too shall pass. I know that all will be well on the other side of this, I am just getting really burned out on the shit I apparently have to go through to get to the other side. ((sigh))

        Reply
        • Hi Rhonda, Yes I get a bit ticked off with all this “learn to love yourself” stuff. It is new age jargonese that people fling around but don’t understand. There is no other self to love. There is just awareness and thoughts moving this awareness through time. Trying to love and accept something that doesn’t exist is delusionary. It is like building sandcastles and getting angry at the ocean or a small child destroying it. Regarding migraines, they can be caused by dehydration. A bit like what alcohol does to the brain. A friend of mine is good at recognising the first symptoms and doing something about it before it gets going. Altered body temperature seems to bring them on also. Not being cold or hot but the malfunctioning of the body’s thermostat. (something like the effect of hypothermia where the body gives a false reading to the brain and the sufferer throws off their clothes in the snow) Meditating on being in a desert or in the artic circle can cause the body to rectify it core temperature. Treating migraines like an allergy can help. Migraines can also be hormonal. Keeping a check on when they occur is critical to understanding this. Men have biocycles aswell. Certain thoughts can trigger a migraine. Next time one comes on see if you can back track in what you were thinking about. They are obviously a useful emotional avoidance strategy like hunger can be.

          Reply
          • Hi Rhonda, When you say the “other side” do you mean OBE after death? There is no need to wait till your physical body poops it. Every night you go for trips in these mind scapes. One just has to remember it.

          • To someone who has ever hated themselves, learning to love themselves is not ‘new age jargonese’ it is an essential part of the ‘healing process’.

            I read somewhere that masturbation is good for migraine headaches, hahahaha. I don’t get migraines so I haven’t had the opportunity to find out. :)

        • Hello again Rhonda. Yeah, it can be very frustrating and discouraging to be sooo finished with something and have it be sooo not finished with you, hehehe. You’ll find your way, and I’m pretty sure you’ll be glad you persisted. :)

          Reply
      • Hi Avalon, I will add that, even though I have never been depressed or suicidal (or even felt unloved) your words are true for me also. Nature puts things in perspective. I had a “Cat Stephen’s” moment in the ocean. The surf was high, the rip was fast, the sky was black and all I could do was gasp for air, I had no strength left to swim. The ocean was ferocious. Right in the middle of it all I still had a little voice guiding me. I am a qualified Surf Lifesaver and I know all about rips and surviving them but that day I was humbled into a shivering wreck as the rip took me out and there was no one to notice. The waves came so quickly that I couldn’t lay on my back or float, Some gigantic force seemed to want me dead. I eventually hit a sand bar and it rose up under me enough for me to just stand up. The rest of the event was moving slowly for what seemed like hours until I got clear of the rip which seemed to be moving along the beach. I was wobbly for the next few days. I forgot my petty worries. All my prowess at swimming took a body blow. I use to think it was easy to get out of a rip and that only a fool would drown. I think I lost the point of what I was saying. Ah yes. Nature puts things in perspective.
        By the way, I have developed the habit of copying my comment before I submit it. Sometimes someone hits submit at the same time or time runs out. Then I just paste it back in. I always choose a capatcha that is just letters and digits minus o and 1.

        Reply
        • Hi Michael! I love your story… I’m laughing because I know exactly what you’re talking about… I once jumped into a fast-moving stream during the cold rainy season up in the mountains (and it wasn’t a deep stream either, in fact it was very shallow.) I had been feeling invincible before I went in for my dip, or should I say near drowning, but that invincibility was shaken to the core the second that ice cold water hit me and the unbelievably strong current grabbed me and would not let me go, it dragged me downstream for what seemed like a half a mile, flipping me up and down and all around and knocking me into rocks till I was senseless. Nature puts things in perspective alright! Hahaha.

          I am embarrassed to confess this, but I don’t know why you are telling me about that ‘copy before you post’ and which capatcha to use bit that you added. Does it have to do with the all-over-the-place-random spots my comments end up in? Hahaha.

          Reply
          • Damn, it’s hard to keep track of all these posts and who’s saying what to whom, and why they’re saying it!

          • Hi Avalon, No I was suggesting that it is wise to copy a comment before you send it because it can get lost with a mistake on the capatcha. That’s all. Loving yourself to heal yourself, as I said, is devisive. Changing one’s negative self concept is becoming aware that a self concept of any kind is a limitation. The thinking and belief behind a self concept, good or bad, relies on the illusion of the ‘other’ determining and controlling how one feels.The need for affirmation from ‘others’ is the problem. That is being human and it brings suffering. I am not knocking being human. I strut my stuff on stage and enjoy the glamour but it is just a show. The costumes and music are all temporary manifestations. With greater awareness, personna is an adopted bunch of behaviour. I enjoy mimicking others. I don’t have a strong feel of being a “me”. I hope this makes sense.

          • Oh, I see. Yeah, I have almost lost a few comments but I just click on the ‘go back one page’ arrow and everything I wrote is still in there so I have not felt the need to remember to copy it before I click ‘submit’… which is VERY hard for me to remember to do.)
            The concept of oneself as, say, an infinite, non-physical energy expressing itself in this physical dimension for nothing else but the thrill of the ride, is not, in my opinion, all that limiting a concept. And devisive or not, feeling love and appreciation for the cells of your body and the HUGE act of loving and devoted cooperation they engage in while providing you with a vehicle to taste and touch and feel this world is still heading in the direction of love and that’s all that really matters. We are in these bodies for a reason and I have concluded that that reason is for the fun of it. So I am going to have fun, I don’t care what anybody else is doing. You devil’s advocate you.

  • I love the symbolism of being a spiritual surfer. I was surfing last night nd got dragged under so to speak. I was feeling out of control and started crying so I was in that for a moment. Then sometimes other people will tell you stop feeling sorry for yourself. At that moment you are turned around and get angry. Nobody but you can tell you how to feel. Surfboards are for one person. So just tell them get the heck off my surfboard! :)

    Reply
    • How do people get on other people’s surfboards without wrecking the ride? The metaphore could be extended to the people who get hit by loose or lost boards. I was body surfing in a safe zone. All of sudden a surfer skims past my ear and both of us get rolled. He didn’t know he had come between the flags. It was a massive and beautiful wave that didn’t respect the flags. I felt guilty for being in his way.

      Reply
  • Beautiful…complete

    Reply
  • Thank you Teal.

    Truth that really motivates, reveals the self-knowledge and resonates in every word.

    LOVE <3

    Reply
  • I just found you yesterday and read this post. I’m an avid fan of Abraham and I love how your message is the same but with your unique energy. Thank you for filling in a missing link for me in this article. Over the past several months, I’ve been focused more on how I’m feeling and have been baffled as to why certain things kept happening when I knew I was “cleaning up my act”. My desire was to maintain alignment most of the time. A light turned on for me when I read how we “should” ourselves into acting happy, and that I was unknowingly being cruel to myself. Thanks for explaining it in such practical ways. THANK YOU!

    Reply
  • Thank you again, Teal. This post is very much needed by me. A reminder to me and many others.

    I hope you have been great <3

    Reply
  • Today I had one of these bad days. Many things happened that actually aren’T so horrible, but for some reason in the evening I ended up crying and with the feeling of powerlessness. And then I remembered your videos and your blog all the times you said you have to embrace your negative emotions and find out why you are feeling the way you feel and that you should let awareness be the key. So I did that and got to understand many things that are currently going on in my live. Thank you, Teal – I can understand that you once said or wrote down (I don’T remember where I heard it) that you would have murdered people for having had someone who told you what you tell all of us. I appreciate it so much. So now I’ve read this and I now I did a good thing. I feel so much better now. THANK YOU TEAL! ♥♥♥
    eliza

    Reply

Submit a Comment